*** Trigger Warning: Neonatal Death is mentioned in this piece *** October 7th- 15th is Babyloss Awareness Week in the UK
Misty Blue by Dorothy Moore played as we ended the funeral service. I was numb..! I still can’t remember much. So many friends and the close family were all crying. I may have been crying too but I honestly don’t know or remember.
I was dressed in Green and White and it was April 2006. I had requested everyone attending to wear the same because I didn’t want to have a heavy mourning energy. It was a Humanitarian service in the Church building (minus the artefacts) in the cemetery. A wonderful ceremony. The people I loved …
The only religious input was the reading of Psalm 23 and people said a few words. I had played the song Pass me Over by Anthony Hamilton on the entry now this was FINAL… my 23 day old baby boy Shaka was going home to the ancestors so soon. My closest male friend was likely to meet him with my closest female friends Dad, maternal Great-Grandma and Paternal Great-Grandad.
After everything I’d been through! Splitting up with the twins father during pregnancy going into Single Parenthood again with a 7 year old and two on the way. Going into severe Premature labour alone at 23 weeks and delivering my son’s without support or pain relief on the day, and now my youngest died at 23 days old, of what, we will never know. Inconclusive autopsy as he’d just stopped breathing and never re-started.
He had survived me having two accidents whilst pregnant, heavy bleeding and constant A & E visits with threatened miscarriage, a brain bleed, respiratory difficulties and long term ventilation as well as Septicemia.
“Pass me over until my saviour comes…..” is all I could hear. As a spiritual woman not affiliated to any religion this gave me great comfort. …and if you see me sleeping just leave me be”.
So many of us have been silently heartbroken by the death of a baby or young child. For me as hard as it is and as I write this I’m still crying tears years later, though not as many. I am stronger, I am resilient. I am a vessel to share my story of overcoming adversity and transforming your life. I am here to hold the light for others and I have stepped into being the more authentic version of me.
During my deep meditation in June 2020 I was gifted the idea of creating a Memory box for Bereaved Parents. I have called them bereavement boxes though they are boxes to store your precious memories. Cardboard so sustainable and they have some handpicked gifts in there too. I could only source the gifts included in limitation so only had 12 to begin with in November 2020. There are now 6 left and I am unsure how or if I will source more.
All info is HERE
My motto is ” We are not Victims of our Circumstances, We are Soul Conscious Creators of our Future” and for that reason alone, I will continue to thrive despite it all. We have one precious life and I ( like you) will share the gifts I have until the end.
Sending you Love and Healing in abundance. My wish is for you to find Peace and be able to step in purpose too.
Your Sister in Spirit
In Peace and Purpose
Hyacinth x